sleepwalking

so this kid i met months ago calls me up thursday night. seemingly out of the blue. until i realize that he is the same guy who tried to talk to me on the train a couple weeks ago and i gave him a fake number and told him i was married. so he calls my cell leaves a message asking how i'm doing since i broke my ankle. i call him back since he sounds pretty sincere. i leave a message. he calls the next day and tries to get himself invited to my place. saying he wants to give me a massage and talking about all the things he'll do for me. being no less than explicit about wanting to have sex with me. EW! you don't even know me. and the moment i suggest getting to know each other ... you have plans right? you're all of a sudden trying new tactics like being concerned about my physical health and telling me how beautiful i am and talking about if i go to school make sure i know it's something i want to do. but if you would take the time to talk to me you would already know that i have a degree. boys are so dumb. for once i'd like to meet somebody who doesn't think they will do me a big favor by being my first. please leave that noise at the door. why is it such a chore to come correct? wine me, dine me ... take me out to brunch. let's go see the new silent film exhibit at MoMA. BE ORIGINAL! ok. i'm done with that. it's super bowl sunday! don't you love those commercials? i know i do. GO HUSKIES! um ... TIGERS?! right .... my week looks ... busy. i don't know how i'm going to fit in all the work i have to do and still make time for sleep. between applying for FIT, planning for After School Love Week, community night, organizing my music collection, and dodging boys with penises for brains ... honestly?! can a girl get a break?

starting over.

my last blog was entirely too long ago. so i've decided to commit to this thing once and for all. getting my thoughts out of my brain and through my fingertips is very important to me. and sadly i have to schedule it in but here i am. commited to writing whenever i can.

i just got back from a retreat on social justice and simplicity. i knew coming into this year that simplicity was going to be my biggest challenge. i didn't quite get it. so i tried to interpret it before coming as cutting down on what i already own. that worked out well. helped on the move across the country. but i'm curious how much stuff i have acquired since i arrived. i know i've spent a significant portion of what i had saved. some of that on loans and some of the spending may be described as frivolous but i really have been much more conscious. i figured i could do this as long as i thought about it. but this weekend i realized that my life could do with a whole lot more consciousness. i've started to consider not only how i spend money but how i also spend time. is it meaningful to be back and forth on people's myspace pages? is my decision to not eat red meat meaningful? what do i do when there is "nothing to do"? what do i do when there is plenty to do? had a lot to think about this weekend. a whole lot. and i'm still thinking how i can improve but i'm going to start with writing, wearing a watch, and leaving my phone at home on the weekdays. we'll see where this leads.

we watched a documentary while we were on retreat too called "fighting for life in the death belt". and it's very simply filmed and is a very powerful story about the hoops lawyers jump through to get people off death row. i am very much against capital punishment until someone can explain to me how exactly it makes sense to kill people for killing people. it teaches nothing. to anyone. and no, the world is not perfect and people aren't perfect but who are we to decide whether someone deserves to live or die? it's such an archaic way of living (no pun intended.)

i met some amazing people this weekend.



one of them being tom cornell. he is probably one of the most fascinating people i have had the opportunity to talk with. he used to chill with dorothy day and tom merton. and he's had a most fascinating life working and writing for the catholic worker and fighting for civil rights. he's brilliant too and has an incredible view on the way things should be. i love old people. i could listen to them talk all day. anyway his son is available and single and writes for the catholic worker and tom is praying for him daily. needless to say ... all the single volunteers are planning to visit tom's farm soon.

i also had the chance to spend a lot of time with sophia thompson. this little girl is really something else and absolutely brilliant in her own right. i never tired of playing with her and when sophia laughs ... my heart literally skips a beat. we had so much fun together and all i could think was if only her innocence could be preserved forever and she could be shielded from the pain and terror of our world, a world set up for destruction if we don't get our act together in the next few years. i love kids. sophia made me actually consider having kids again. have to find somebody to assist with that first though. one of the only things you can't make happen on your own. how strange life is.

equimi?

i saw stomp the yard yesterday. i enjoyed it. it was a nice story of overcoming obstacles and using your talents to rise above challenges. i'm all about it. but allow me to point out one thing. is it just me or does columbus short, the lead hottie kinda remind you of a certain ghost?



that's not a very good photo of him but damn i swear there were moments looking at the screen where i swear the ghost was staring right back at me. ugh. so then i couldn't get the ghost off the brain. then i called the ghost. because i have no will power. and then he answers and has to go. and says he'll call and then he doesn't and then i'm an idiot for holding on to a ghost who doesn't want to be held and trying to save a ghost that doesn't want to be saved. but i have a date tonight and am convinced that will not go off as planned but am holding out for 2500 mile away father to be. WHAT DRUGS AM I ON?!

I just don't like to be wrong and the more i (don't) talk to the ghost the more i realize how wrong i am. what's so wrong with being full of pride? i'll tell you what's wrong. it makes you delusional!

maybe the date will work out tonight. if anything i should get a free cup of coffee out of it right?