Back on my soap box

I don't want to be in a sorority. Is that so hard to understand? I know you think I'm pretty and great. But I could give a fuck about sisterhood. Maybe it's because I'm an only child. Maybe it's because when girls get together there's nothing but drama. Maybe I've had enough humiliation in my life but please spare me the "You should pledge" bull. I'll pass thanks.My friend Tony, who's like a brother to me recently crossed over and is now an official Kappa Alpha Psi brother. The Kappas are in a word ... BEAUTIFUL. And if greek life didn't make me want to vomit, I would have no problem signing up, especially if it got me close to these beauties. I went to his initiation in Berkeley around finals time. I went to support my brother and my friend and I just had to see what was about to happen. It was ridiculous. 8 weeks of hell and memorizing and feeling like shit. My other friend Mike was hospitalized ... WHO WANTS TO PLEDGE THIS SHIT!!! He nearly fuckin' died. They laid in these wooden boxes for almost 3 hours. then they busted out of these things like they were crazy and had to perform for all these people like some circus monkeys. I'm not down for that, I'm sorry. Do what you do. I'll support you but don't try to sell me. It isn't going to happen.I talked to my mom about it a few days ago, because she asked sincerely why I didn't pledge a sorority. She made a good point though. Having some greek letters attached to your name can get you far ahead in the game. I just don't know if I want to be about that. I want to make it based on my own merit and who I am as a person, not who I know and associate with. Is that wrong? Is it possible? I guess if you're in grad school and you pledge you don't have to go through all the humiliation that is attached to the process but I don't even know if I'm going to grad school anymore (see 4AM Musings below).Fraternities and sororities do really good things in the community. I see Kappas in particular all the time. I was in a tutoring program, headed by a Kappa man. And that's great but when it comes down to it you have to weigh the pros and cons out for yourself. And from my standpoint the cons far outweigh the pros. It's a personal choice and I choose "No" ... thank you.This has been a public service announcement from LSBC Lauren's Soap Box Connection.

That good romance

I'm all dreamy eyed because I just saw The Notebook. Ryan Gosling, an old heart throb from my days of The New Mickey Mouse Club, was really great. People were all crying and stuff. I wasn't crying. I just watched the movie. I was captured I guess. I haven't seen a good romance in a really long time. I was all analyzing the film. It was fun to pick out all the imagery and context clues. It was incredibly typical and cliche. Boy meets girl from other side of the tracks. Boy chases girl. Girl falls for boy. Parents of girl disapprove ... la la la. But I'm such a sucker for that story. It never gets old for me because like every other girl, I secretly want to be rescued and feel that passion for someone the same passion that they feel for me. Shhh ... don't tell (hehe)

4AM musings

It was so hot in my room that I woke up sweating to the sounds of "Cold Hard Bitch" on the TV. I'm glad it's summer and all but damn can I sleep through the night? I forgot to mention yesterday that I am going to (finally) get my new headshots done. I really need them for when I go to London in case I meet people. And my look never changes much (except for when I drastically cut my hair a few months ago :-)) so I could probably keep them for a good three years.Speaking of three years from now ...I went to my cousins' house last weekend to show them pictures from my trip to India and my cousin Sandra told me not to go to grad school. She makes a good point. I'd be studying acting if I went where I want to go (Tisch School of The Arts at NYU.) But maybe she's right. People in the industry don't look at your degrees, they look at your experience. If I want to act I need to act. I have to be out there on auditions. Believe me, this is what I want to do in theory but the trouble was a five letter word: LOANS. I've racked up a lot of them but wonder of wonders and miracle of miracles ... my mom's cashing out on the house and she said she'll be able to use the money to pay off the two private loans we took out for USF and pay off The London Theatre Program. So with that out of the way and a significantly lower tuition bill when I return from London, considering I'll be living off-campus ... maybe I can live on my own and go on auditions. How crazy is that?Since high school I've wanted to do National Evangelization Team and give retreats for young people and high school kids. This would require a one-year commitment from me. I thought about applying and doing the program fresh out of high school. But my mother advised against it. She was right. It would've sucked to be older than all the people in my year in school ... well it wouldn't have been that bad but I would've missed out on some great friends and some valuable lessons had I deferred enrollment for an entire year. So maybe now that I won't have as much loans to pay off I can do NET. AH! I hate money it opens and closes so many doors!K ... I'm done ... If this made no sense ... don't blame me ... blame the heat for waking me up at 3:30AM.