dear john

this will hurt. i'm leaving you for another. her name is new york. she's ready to show me things i've never seen before. she's got a place set up for me and at this point i'm not sure whether my relationship with new york will develop into romance or disdain. she's just new and different and in no way comparable to how i feel about you. she's just different. understand that i never meant to fall in love with you. it just happened that way. we're soulmates, you and i. and i'll be back but right now i think it's better if i leave. i still want us to be friends. i still love you. it has nothing to do with you, it's me. and i think i need to take this opportunity to be a little selfish. and i know you will grow leaps and bounds without me in your life. i won't be back to pick up my things. i'm only taking what i can carry so throw it out, give it to someone else, keep it. i don't care. the things we've acquired over the past four years don't mean anything more to me than a penny on the ground. i care about how much you've taken care of me and protected me and given me a sense of security. you took me as i was and gave me room to grow. i love you so much and can never forget all that you've given me. the person you've helped me to become is forever grateful and indebted to you. there's nothing left to say. the more i write, the more i cry and the less steps i take from walking away fully intact and composed. i'll write you again soon. sincerely, lauren