Keep on rockin' in the free world

Shit I'm fucking pissed. I just saw Farenheit 9/11 and I could just throw something at the Bush asshole that is fucking responsible for all this bull. AAHHH!!! I'm so mad. So what am I going to do with all this anger? Well my trip to Ohio will not be in vain. Ohio is one of the biggest swing states in the country and I'm going armed with voter registration info. It's just the right way to do things. We have to be heard and somebody needs to let this man know that he is incapable of running my country. There's hope for something a lot better than the idiot that sits atop the US throne right now. Fuck Iraq! Fuck Oil! Fuck the fucking president! I'm done!

On Death and Dying

I'm really glad that my great grandmother is going to be closer to the family. She just turned 95 a few days ago and has been in Oxnard living on C Street for as long as I can remember. I rarely visited but now I can see her much more often. Her daughter: my great aunt Trudi is currently in a convalescent home and the family is going to move my great grandmother there with her. We went to go see Trudi and she played this tape that she came across when she was moving. It was a telephone conversation with my grandfather (her brother) and grandmother. I don't remember my grandmother but people say I look and act like her. I wish I could remember what she looked like. She died when I was three. The recording was right after she had a mild stroke. It was weird. It was like talking to somebody from beyond the grave, you know? She was really positive and just laughed through the stroke like it was nothing. Sometimes I wish I could talk to my loved ones who have passed on. I have one grandparent still living and that's going to be really hard when she passes on. I loooovee my grandma. She's my absolute favorite relative and she's so cool. She started going back to school when I started college. Isn't that awesome? I think about death a lot and how it affects me and doesn't affect me. My grandfather on my mother's side died when I was about 9. I met him once but I cried and cried when he died. My grandfather on my dad's side died when I was 17 and I knew he was really sick and I didn't cry at all. This girl Rolanda that I used to go to school with had cancer and she was a make-a-wish kid and all she wanted to do was go to high school. She passed away 2 months after senior year started. I went to her funeral and cried for her. She wasn't my best friend or anything just a girl I knew and liked as a person; but I guess there are different things that move me to tears for different people who have passed on. I wonder sometimes how it's gonna be when I die and who will be there to celebrate my life. Is that weird? I guess it's kind of morbid but I'm sort of numb to the feelings these days with all the violence and death that I see on TV everyday. I don't even want to watch the news anymore. That shit makes people afraid to go outside and stay inside. It eats away at your spirit, drive, and soul. And if we decide to do either ... what happens to humanity? What really will be the death of me? Fear or a gun? What will die first? My spirit or my body?

Time

I was on the phone with Harry from SBC telling him I couldn't connect to the internet this morning. He took me through a 45 minute process to finally tell me that there is an outage in my neighborhood that would be fixed by tomorrow. Tomorrow?! I said to myself... what am I supposed to do without my beautiful DSL? Oh how I long for that good LAN Network at USF. When I could turn on my computer and just be connected to the rest of the world. I didn't have to dial shit. But DSL is at least much better than a 32 KBps Dial up connection right? It's all the same thing, it's just going to take me a little longer to get there. And where were we without cell phones? How did wives let their husbands know they were going to be a little late for dinner? Don't you remember the days without cell phones? When you had to memorize numbers and write them down in phone books or post them on your bulletin board? Wasn't it nice? Remember when you used to go outside and play? Don't you miss not having the interaction with another human being? We need physical contact. There was a study performed by some Ivy-League kids that said if you are not touched or held as a baby your life span is cut drastically short. That's what the world is coming to. Pretty soon we won't need doctors and lawyers and professors; Everything will be done online or with a robot. I don't know about you but that shit scares me. Sometimes I just want to talk on the phone with you and not IM you. I like the anticipation of telling you my good news in person. Is that wrong? Wait a few extra minutes while I walk down the street ... I don't have anything against new things. I think it's wonderful: the educational prowess of people but before you buy that fast as hell internet connection or your boost mobile phone, think of the risks. If that shit stops working your stress intensity shoots through the roof. Your heart starts beating faster because of the anticipation that has been created. If you're not instantly and constantly gratified anymore you're susceptible to ulcers and heart attacks and even death. I wanna live, not waste my time on inanimate objects. The world is moving so fast and I have become the poster-child for a generation spoiled by technology. Why does everything have to be faster? Why do we want to live so fast? I believe we have only one life so why not cherish it for all the time that it gives you and not all the time that it takes away. This has been a Public Service Announcement from your not-so-normal broadcast of LSBC Lauren's Soap Box Connection.